Saturday, February 26, 2011

I am wonderfully made

This week was Special Emphasis Week at the school, with a focus on Self Awareness. Within this theme, we shared a lot from Psalm 139, praying that the students would understand that they are created by God and very much beloved by him. On Thursday, the female teachers spoke to the girls about our worth in Christ, especially regarding our beauty. We read them Psalm 139: 14 "I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well."

In the afternoon, I met with my small group, which is composed of four Cameroonian students, one Korean, and one American. As we talked about the message in the morning, two of the Cameroonians mentioned that the verse reminded them of a song. I asked if they would sing it for me, and was almost in tears by the end at the beautiful way it summarized everything we had been talking about this week. I wish I could sing it for you, but the lyrics are as follows:

I am joyfully made.
I am wonderfully made.
I resemble God.
I belong to him.

That is why the devil trembles
Whenever he hears me say
I am God's own
and the apple of his eye.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Friday Rhapsody

It’s 4:59 on Friday afternoon; time for the communal teacher bus to leave. I pack my computer, pick up a couple textbooks that I need for planning over the weekend. Not everyone is ready, but I am done working, so I step out onto the balcony outside the office. A burst of red orchids draws my eye and I step closer, inhaling, hoping for an exotic aroma. Instead, I notice a small brown beetle, inching down the wire that suspends the orchid pot. He crawls down gingerly, pausing when a breeze causes extra turbulence. Past him, the sun paints the palm trees a buttery yellow.

Finally we are all ready. The van is only half full; many of the teachers left an hour earlier to start their weekends. The van opens like an oven. Hot air rolls over us, and we quickly slide open windows as we pile in. The crickets and birds beat a rhythm, God’s soundtrack to our departure. With windows open, the red dust flies as we pass the gate, waving at the guard. The sun has sunk and the light is more filtered as we pass dark-headed children bathing at public wells, their mothers washing clothes or peeling manioc. As the palm trees pass and the breeze stirs my hair, the moment reaches perfection.

We reach town again and pass more women in intricately patterned fabric. Squeezing through the narrow streets, we come to the corner market, smelling beignets and grilled fish, me looking for the sour, pitted vegetable that Cameroonians call a plum. I avert my eyes from the drivers as we pass the motorcycle stop. Today I do not want to field marriage proposals. The familiar tailor shops are hanging out new dresses. Many celebrate the upcoming International Women’s Day, when women will march and wear the same fabric to show their solidarity.

A dozen bars and beauty shops later, we are turning into our street, and my stomach jumps at the bump from paved to unpaved road. I look around carefully, checking to see if any neighbors are out so that I can greet them. When we pull in, I wait for my neighbors and we walk back to our building, meeting a friend who sells fresh juice along the way. She carries up my bottle of papaya nectar and I hunt for exact change to pay her.

Later I will venture out to look for a Malta, a beverage I’ve been thinking about for the last few days. I will not find it. All the little shops have run out. On the way back, I will stop by the fruit vendor outside my apartment, who is saving me a sweet pineapple. For now, though, I just want to change into some lighter, looser clothing. It has been a full day.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Psalm 86

Life is hard and God is good. Those words have been my song through the last couple weeks. Sometimes I feel my "to do" list looming over me, waiting to crash down on my head if I miss planning for a class or responding to an e-mail, if I forget to pick up money or pay my househelp, if I miss an appointment or don't plan well for a speaking engagement. Psalm 86 expresses so well what I feel in those moments:

Psalm 86
A prayer of David.

1 Hear me, LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
for I put my trust in you.

5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.
7 When I am in distress, I call to you,
because you answer me.

8 Among the gods there is none like you, Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.
9 All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you, Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.

11 Teach me your way, LORD,
that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths,
from the realm of the dead.

14 Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God;
ruthless people are trying to kill me—
they have no regard for you.
15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and have mercy on me;
show your strength in behalf of your servant;
save me, because I serve you
just as my mother did.
17 Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, LORD, have helped me and comforted me.